back to bongland, with few changes this time..

not kharagpur, but kolkata
not iit, but iim

yaay..i'm estatic, i'm delirious with joy, i'm jumping up and down, and i'm certainly cocky these days..cheers !!

p.s. assuming junta is going to congratulate me, thnx

Labels: I, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

In one word “Liverpool Sucked!!” I never thought I’d say that but I am. It was their worst game in long-long time and they played exceptionally bad. Everything was disjointed. Chelsea didn’t need to make any steals; Liverpool anyways was passing ball to them. Possession was completely ignored. Only surprise was Reina’s performance. O Dear Reina!! Savior of pride of “the Reds”. Thank You!!

I’m in a big-big shock to write anything about this match. But the worst part of the game was Rafa’s tactics. It was blown apart. There were millions of flaws. To start with

1) Why no player at far-post even for one corner?

2) Why no attack from right wing, that’s our strength and we all know Zenden is major out of form this season. And Pennant is playing his best football ever.

3) Why not Gerrard in centre midfield and Pennant to start as right winger

4) Why no Crouch to start with? Chelsea in weak in set-pieces and air. Crouch and Kuyt can launch a virtual air raid and also feather-weight crouch attracts a million fouls near the box, like a magnet.

This much is more than enough to give way a win even when Chelsea was not playing a good game. But the only saving grace is the fact that next game is at Anfield and Liverpool is tough nut to crack there. But a lot of introspection has to go in it

Hope to see a much better performance at Anfield. Come on!! You can do it. But whatever, you’ll never walk alone. J

Verdict

Liverpool

Best payer: Reina, Gerrard, Crouch
Worst payer: Arbeloa (he is much better that what we saw of him last night), Alonso (where was he in the first half), Rafa Benitez (reasons above).

Chelsea

Best player: Drogba, Carvalho (I always say, he is much better than Terry), Makalele
Worst player : Sheva, Kalou

Labels: Lord's review, Soccer, Sports, WTF, YNWA

A supersonic thriller. Kaka is God and Dida should be hanged. Both showed moments of brilliance twice. Bah! And AC lost 3-2. Could I be more pissed??

5^th min and Dida almost held a ball by Ronaldo’s header but wait; he pushed it in back of net. “Thank you very much!!” says Ronaldo. 1-0 ManU. Dida was actually petrified. He was paler than Dada facing Shoaib. He was trembling and shivering. God saves AC.

But then it was brilliance of Italian midfield on the pitch. Gattuso hit Englishmen, the English way. Hard and plenty. He sure is backbone of AC’s game. And I told ya, Seedorf was a force to reckon with.

And then all of a sudden came the second goal of the match. Kaka pulled it through out of nowhere. Absolutely brilliant. If AC has Dida, ManU has Carrick. It could not have been worse for him. He just saw Kaka past by him and so did Van der Sar, and BANG!! The jacket hanging at the back of the net was dancing with a brilliant left footer by the Brazilian.

No it was not over. Just before half time, Kaka again! This time even better. Carrick, Evra, Heinze were spellbound, confused and Van der Sar helpless. Kaka hit the net again with one of the most creative moves of the season, garnished by the lethal right footed finish. 2-1. AC in control at half time. “Sir” Alex fucked royally. Old Trafford fans were gasping with a big mouth open.

In first half, ManU tried few futile attempts at goals and despite Dida at post, AC managed to keep them off courtesy Nesta.

But at half time two things hit AC. Firstly, substitution of Maldini and Gattuso (well, his was almost half time) and secondly, and more problematic a thing call complacency. One should not underestimate any team at a UCL semifinal. And certainly not when you are on the road. This problem is not new for AC though, they faced more of it 2 yrs back in Istanbul in final against Liverpool.

Gattuso was heavily missed in the midfield. And Pirlo is just not at his best this whole season. He was imperious last season. Together with Gattuso he makes a formidable pair just that he is not performing this season. Anyways AC’s attacks were getting fewer in number. But they managed to keep Ronaldo quiet, but Scholes and Rooney got louder.

Suddenly, in one of such moves, Scholes lofted ball was held at Rooney’s chest and only thing between him and net was poor Dida. I smiled “here comes the equalizer”.2-2. Game on!!

Not much happened till injury time and I was thrilled with the scorecard. Good Old Traffordians are going to have nightmares. But Dida was not quite finished yet. In injury time, on a counter run on a highly slippery pitch Rooney got the ball and Nesta was running alongside. He did all good to block far-post and Rooney was left with no other option then to shoot near-post. And another flash of brilliance by Dida. And Old Trafford went berserk. I was like WTF!! 3-2 L

It’s over. Its UCL knock-out again, it’s a 90+ goal again, and is it a fate-sealer again? We have to wait and see in 2^nd leg.

Verdict – top 3

AC

Best player: Kaka, Gattuso, Seedorf
Worst player: Dida, Dida, Dida

ManU

Best player: Ronaldo, no one else impressed me
Worst player: Carrick, Evra, Heinze

Labels: Lord's review, Soccer, Sports, WTF

time for nightouts again..

UCL semifinals are here...and as Rafa Benitez has predited i wish its going to be AC vs. Liverpool final again...and ofcourse unlike istanbul, this time i do not want to witness any thrills in the final. a stright forward win would be nice.

my prediction says, ManU- AC match is going to be on hell of a match. AC has refound its confidence, with team almost certainly qualifying for the UCL next season even after points penalty. Man U is going to have a tough time in wake of injury and super tight schedule in EPL and Chelsea closing up for the title race.

For Liverpool - Chelsea match, i cant give an unbiased opinion. Heart and soul for "the Reds". But the problems faced by Sir Alex is faced by Jose as well. Team looked extremly drained out this weekend against Newcastle. I doubt if this match will go to away goals and will be settled on aggregate.

Up "the Reds".

Players to watch

Liverpool : Mascherano
AC Milan : Seedorf
Chelsea : Wright Philips
ManU : Ronaldo

Labels: Memoirs, Soccer, Sports, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy, YNWA

when ppl say, He does not perform under pressure and He should be like Ponting who raise His level during crunch situation and sails his team through, i confess my temperature rises by 100%. people just do not see the facts and start criticising. WTF..just a quntitative analysis will prove the otherwise.

wat is a crucial match..for sake of simplicity we will stick to worldcup matches and finals of tri-series..and from india's perspective every match against australia.

worldcup : i dont think anyone can even dream of comparing His worldcup stats with anyone else. they complain that He didnt perform in last worldcup final. wat do they expect out of Him ? He scored more than 650 runs alone..was the sole reason your team reached the final..and now He didnt perform in one match, they are ready to rip His balls apart. its more than unfair. and punter has just reached 1000 runs mark in worldcup though he has played almost as many games while He is in league of his own, 1700+ runs. He got out in 90s three time, which is more than enough to proves how selfless His game is. and most impressive performance was His innings of 94 against pakistan last year. with strike rate of 175, He almost single handedly demolished the pakistan pace trio (wasim, waqar, shoaib)

His record against autralia is imperious, with average more than 48 and strike rate of 90+, its almost a miracle. only failure is against against proteas with a meager average of 27. But whatever, You are my God !!

Happy birthday :)

Labels: Cricket, Sentiments, Sports, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

Bye bye Lara...to one of the greatest test batsman ever. i will always remember that knock of 400, your respect for sachin, keeper of once great windies team, and your sexy "crouch-crouch-crouch-up-BANG" stance.

Labels: Adieu, Cricket, Sentiments, Sports

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are special days, but not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and golf shots.

5. Sunday=Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. It will never make an Olympic event (although we could be wrong on that, the way they instituted women's hockey & wrestling)

7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Crying is blackmail.

9. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

10. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently.

11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

12. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

15. Check your oil! Please.

16. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

17. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

19. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

20. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

22. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Deal with it.

24. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

25. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will assume nothing's wrong.

28. I'm in shape. - Round IS a shape.

Labels: Laff Riot, LITBM

i have a threshhold, i have a fucking threshold. i might burst. i might do a "rang de basanti"

Labels: Death, Sentiments, WTF

These days I’m extremely pissed with the attitude of Indian press in general and news channels in particular. Their capitalistic tendencies are on a roll and moral responsibilities are going down the drain. The urge to be different and fast is so high that sometimes that at times facts are deformed and truth is compromised. The condition so arrived is due to moronic internal competition between media. Every senseless piece of news is covered by every channel and no one has any resources and means to find out the reliability and authenticity of it.

The competition is so huge between them that they will not hesitate even for a moment to pull a live-wire, not giving a damn about the emotions and sentiments attached with it. The sensitivity of any issue is cashed to attract more viewership and rules are bend to spice up the story.

They say, people are more aware these days because all these news channels. And it’s due to channels like these; people who are looking for instant fame do not mind doing something otherwise stupid. Public here is idiot and jobless, and certainly not shy of wasting time on streets holding placards saying “hai hai” and murdabaad”. Rationality is alien to them.

And a lot of times I feel that most of these processions and burning effigies by mob, is more of a drama in front of lens where everything from script to screenplay to sets are provided by these TRP pimps. Because my senses do not allow me to chew the fact that people enraged by dismal performances of Indian cricket team or Rakhi Sawant kiss while taking out procession will be intimidated by the fact that they are on TV and so they’ll put their laughing face forward. Yes, I have seen people in mob laughing and getting thrilled to be on TV. But then that’s my view.

1) Prince scenario: about a year back, this little kid named prince fell into a dig hole near Ghaziabad. Now instantly it became“breaking news” for the entire media industry and in a flash that whole place was packed millions of cameras and reporters. Almost every thing was given a major hype and the kid was already a national hero, even before he came out of the pit. And since then I have seen more than ten similar instances in different part of the country. Are kids in this country all of a sudden become so self-involved that they have stopped seeing the pits on the street? Or is it a shortcut to instant stardom to a lot people? May be it is!!

2) Cricket Reviews: zee news takes the crown in worst review. I believe my knowledge in cricket is damn good and I can analyze the game. It just takes one match to monkey flip the image of the entire cricket team. Being hero to zero is matter of just eight hours. All the comments on TV seem to be rigged and highly manipulated. And if sometimes some sense is being talked, they will do their best to go off air with some ad and eventually put “breaking news” forward. This is one conversation I saw on Headlines Today with Kapil Dev about retirement of Sachin.

Rep: Kapil da, don’t you think Sachin is performing exceptionally bad in recent times and it is high time that he should pack his bags.
Kapil: Sachin is the greatest player this country has ever produced and I feel, better than you and me he knows his game. And he certainly is not the kind of player who will put his personal interests above team’s interest. So I feel it is best for him to decide whether he should or should not retire. If he feels he is not good anymore then he will voluntarily take retirement.
Rep: So you agree that even Sachin knows that is not good any more and he should take retirement.
Kapil: no, that’s not what I said. I said if he feels….
Rep: So now you guys have seen even legendary Kapil Dev thinks Sachin should retire.
Kapil: you are getting it all wrong…..
Rep: We will continue this discussion with Kapil Dev after the break. Please do not touch the remote.

And in split second, in font size 24, appears “Breaking News: Kapil thinks Sachin should retire.”

3) Shilpa – Gere Kiss: This is the latest one. In an AIDS awareness program for the truck drivers, organizers were cashing the new found global fame of Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere, whose love for India is pretty well-known. Now Shilpa gave a beautiful introduction of Richard and overwhelmed (I’m not sure what took him overboard, either looks of her or the introduction) Mr. Gere expressed his gratitude with a bit excess of PDA. Now people were stunned and so was Shilpa, but she made it clear that she was neither offended not appalled. Even her mom was ok.

But this little mis-adventure was a hot story for the Indian media and they were moved by their love for Indian culture and how a “firang” is flirting with it. Images were shown on all the news channels as “breaking news” and all the “vella junta” in the country was given a reason to take another procession. Entire country was opposing the “move” of Mr. Gere, so said the news channel. They say, he has no right to misbehave and un-dignify an Indian actress and he should apologize pronto.

What I fail to understand is why are these news channels are trying to be the keeper of Indian culture. I’m sure that Shilpa is mature enough to know how to maintain her dignity and with the type of publicity she is getting these days throughout, she would be well aware of the image she is projecting. Media is trying to make a fool out of themselves, and certainly portraying as a stupid bunch of dorks trying to raise TRP by making an entire half an hour of program on this shit.

4) DPS mms: This incident takes the last piece of the brownie. This is the height of irresponsibility and utter non-sense. I guess everyone know about the incident. Two kids of RK-puram were having “fun” and the guy made a video clip of it on his cell. And in sometime this clip was floating on the internet and was one of most searched voyeur clip globally.

Eventually media came to know about it and suddenly it was the hottest topic and of course “breaking news”. People were infuriated and parents worried. But that’s not the point. The point here is crassness of the media. By the time news leaked to all these channels, the clip was seen by a lot of people, but it still was less than 0.01% of Indian population (I guess). Now these intellectually challenged news channels and their “country-should-know” philosophy compelled them to show the entire clip on TV, saying that this is what was in the clip (they blurred the images of course). So what was seen by a minority is now seen by the entire nation.

I really was pissed with this bullshit. Height of stupidity. I really can’t understand what they have achieved out of this, except for sensationalizing the issue. But they made the life of that girl and that guy living hell.

But whatever, media is eating up the democracy. In wake of fundamental rights they are mocking the entire system. Sometimes I feel these people do not deserve to have freedom of speech, and it should be revoked until they get some sense. Such an irresponsible media should be banned forever. If not a ban, some filter has to be installed or sense has to be instilled.

Labels: Bitching, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts

Last Night, I was watching Pulp Fiction again and suddenly this thought of plagiarism crept into my head. Some call it “influence”, which is an overused politically correct synonym for it.

I was thinking about what Jules say before killing a person. He recites a line from bible, Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." And quite similar to this is what Joker says in the movie Batman, before killing anyone. "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”


Is this an influence? May be it is. By any rationale, I won’t go too far to say it is a theft.

What about the un-avoidable similarities in Reservoir Dogs and City on Fire? Quentin Tarantino has told in a million interviews that he was heavily inspired by the Hong Kong film and he has almost copied shot-by-shot the end of Reservoir Dogs, i.e. the Mexican standoff. But then he is probably the only director/writer to admit such a thing blatantly. He scores for accepting truth gracefully

I really don’t know where the thin line between “homage” and a nonchalant “copy-paste” lies?

Labels: From the other side of the Lens, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts

Sakshi didn’t tag me for this: D, but I thought of roping myself in it, forcefully: P. Summers are here and like most people, I’m nostalgic too. Now that I’m working, I miss those school days summer vacations, those tension-free strolls with friends, those cricket and badminton sessions. Summers were more fun as a kid.

Grandma’s kitchen: I distinctly remember, I used to go to nani-dadi's place for a month or so. I was the first kid on either side of the family so I was the most pampered one too. I was crazy about "nariyal barfi", I still am. My nani use to make those awesome nariyal barfis for me, and also a big packet was packed for me when I was about to leave. Ohh that thing was heaven. My nani is an amazing cook and it’s amazing what she can do without onion-garlic-ginger. My uncles were quite younger to my mom so no kids there. My sister and I were the rulers. Our wish was law. I miss those late night terrace sessions with my nanaji. We use to talk about everything from various constellations to various mythological stories, from world politics to Ghalib's shayari, from Sanskrit sholkas to Urdu lessons, from my studies to my friends. We use to sleep on terrace. I miss those "odomos" nights and early morning wake up calls.
From there I use to go to dadi's place. It was a joint family there, so already bunch of kids waiting for me and my sis. And then hell unleashed. Mumma and chachis use to bang there head on wall. I miss watermelon time (my dadaji use to call it "bakra" lol: D). I miss that chaats/paani puri of Aligarh and those amazing and yet cheap pastries of "ram bharose bakery". I miss that wall climbing sessions. I miss those cricket sessions with super bouncy rubber balls. I miss those math sessions with my cousin (I m a good teacher!!).
Coming back to Ujjain used to be almost a nightmare.

Sports: now I’m a pulp of fat, but as a kid I use to be pretty athletic. Fastest bowler around and one of the better fielders. Those days morning was booked exclusively for cricket. 6 o'clock in the morning and I’m cycling like a blaze to the ground, sometimes to avenge yesterday's humiliating lose, sometimes with a determination to repeat that classic yorker of last game. “Aftis” were reserved for TT sometimes or sometimes watching WWE with friends or playing cards with mom. Evening was for badminton. But in badminton it was rather better case for me. I was a champ. And I was usually hailed as one as well. I used to walk court with utter dominance and grace. And at 7 in the evening it was time for swimming. I had family pass, but alas Ujjain is not a town where u can see girls in family time. Nevertheless, swimming still is my favorite form of workout. Man!! I’m one lazy fat boy now.

Ice-creams/popsicles: I remember them for very different reasons from what most people do. As a kid I had severe tonsillitis. I was not allowed cold water of fridge, let alone ice-creams and popsicles. But I was a very good kid. Mumma says that I never made a fuss about it, will refuse politely even if someone offers me one. I was not allowed anything that was cold. But what!! I make up for it now. :D

Discovery channel: as a kid I was crazy about it, use to watch everything. (Only exceptions were news, cartoon network and matches.) No matter if it was biological/genetic shit or wildlife adventures or some travel guides. I'll watch it religiously. Right from my childhood; I have that knack to know everything. Unlike some people who want to be king of one thing, I am always inclined towards a basic knowledge of everything. I’m scared of a thought that I might end up in a bunch of people where I have no idea what they are talking about and I’m just staring their faces. That fear is still in me, and may be its getting stronger everyday. So whenever I talk to someone and I come across something new, first thing I’ll do after that is to hit “wikipedia”.

Maths: There is something between my family and maths. At least finding maths interesting and equally amusing, is a genetic disorder in me. My mumma always make sure, that during summer vacations, I do some maths. She will get next year’s maths book and make sure; I finish it well before next session even starts. My papa has always been my maths teacher. And I never realized when this interest turned into love. Condition became so bad that while I was about to get in 9^th, I was pretty competent with 10^th-11^th maths, and much better than kids in those class.

Maths still is my first academic love. And as GB Shaw said “First love is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity.” Come on, call me geek!!

Food: Summer is not the best time of the year for foodies, but there was a lot to drink. And two of my favorite fruits use to stack up in fridge. Watermelon and Mango are my love. I distinctly remember, papa used to get fresh mangos daily on his way back home from his morning walk. And then there was mango shake. That was a must have every evening. But I live because of my love for “lassi” and “shikanji”. People drink bed-tea, but I used to drink “bed-lassi”.

I still have my share of fun. Still like sitting on terrace in the night in cold summer breeze. Summers are all about minimal clothing, multiple-shower-sessions, crew-cut hairdos, ice-creams and cold drinks, midnight longdrives, hot babes in shorts and skirts and sports season finals. But vacations are not the same anymore; life is not the same anymore.

Labels: I, Memoirs, Tags