In no specific order

I’m tired of media cashing on every tragedy: Every time a dog pees on a car in Delhi, a Barbie falls on the face of earth from 22^nd floor in Mumbai, a crow dumps on Mayawati (I wish) or the latest shortcut to fame – a particularly self involved kid falls in some remote unfinished bore well: its Christmas time at Aaj Tak’s office. Not just the journalist will have a ball smashing microphone at everyone’s face instead of helping, news readers will keep reminding you every 30 seconds.

I'm tired of hearing people argue about abortion, quota row, female infanticide, mercy killing and all the other bullshit that makes up the average Indian political discussion board: It’s good that you’re arguing. But just for a change have you consider listening to what people on the other side are ranting about? If you do not care for the ideas presented by the other side, why even bother participating: might as well blurt out your partisan argument to a wall. It’s not like you are helping your case by selective acknowledgement of the obvious.

I’m tired of short term memory loss: more commonly known as, oh fuck!

I’m tired of self-help authors telling me how to live MY life: You think people like to constantly frown as if someone buried their face in a 10 ft deep pit filled with cow-shit? Well for this once, try to have a look at life from their point of view. My advice to you is put your pen down and bullshit before a person who isn’t already a designated loser. You'll end up empty-handed like every other shallow idiot in the room

I'm tired of science being set back by superstition: Human Genome Project receives little-to-no government support in India because of our moronic Prime Minister's twisted religious beliefs and woeful understanding of biology. The Big Bang Experiment at NASA keeps receiving lawsuits from paranoid dimwits with a limited knowledge of Physics who think slamming a few protons together is going to destroy the universe. And this hasn't happened yet, but eventually some idiot "numerologist" is going to freak out and try to ban Calculus for fear of causing the Apocalypse. I wish I'm exaggerating.

I'm tired of people whinging that TV and movies are getting blood obsessed for them: The developers of TV also give a freebee called remote control with it and you dont have to take lessons from Mr Poirot to look for it. Try pressing that red button on top corner before crying out loud. My suggestion to you is to get a DTH and subscribe Pogo for your sorry ass. And before you walk out of your momma’s lap, please throw away your rose tinted ridiculous idea of the world and face it head on. Dodge this.

I’m tired of people blaming my music for death of their sex life: If it did, let me play a record or two of Cannibal Corpse so it ends the remote possibility of you procreating. Its not my fault that you were busy chasing butterflies when He was distributing sense, connoisseur for creativity and music, fresh unprejudiced brains, better eardrums and mojo. The gene pool you are creating is anyways a total trash and not just by Spartan standards. Your DNA is not even worth a bottle of formaldehyde. So let me start by crashing a cymbal on your head, stuffing your elephant ear in my sub woofer and disclosing the fact of your slothful penis by confronting it to nude cheerleaders.

I’m tired of people crying after 2 shots of tequila: Our own Uncle Sam made coke for kids like you and then they made Diet Coke for the fussy ones. 50% alcohol is for people who CAN handle it. How I wish your age reduce by one year every time you sulk, I’m sure it would make your case more curious than that of Benjamin Button. And I know I’m a very good person but I’m not a brother of a cry baby.

Labels: Bitching, I, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts, WTF

Few days back D was being at leisure on a scarlet lonely beach in a white shirt, really short shorts, slippers and a can of beer. She was sitting right by F who was decked in a floral tank top, red frilled skirt and bare feet with a Pinacolada in her hand. D was staring in the oblivion and F was trying to write something on the sand against the mighty waves. Dusk, wind, beach and alcohol. Girls tell each other everything, they say.

F: So what do you think of him ?

D : Him, who ?

F : You know..

D : Oh he !!

Most people think he is crazy, but I dont believe that.

I'm no shrink and I'm not saying I've got him all figured out or anything, but "crazy" just does not explain him. Not to me. Sometimes I think he is a retard, a big brutal kid who never learned the ground rules about how people are supposed to act around each other. But that does not have the right ring to it either.

No, it’s like there is nothing wrong with him, nothing at all - except that he had the rotten luck of being born at the wrong time in history. He'd have been okay if he'd been born a couple of thousand years ago. He'd be right at home on some ancient battle field swinging an ax, into somebody's face. Or in a Roman arena, taking a sword to other gladiators like him...

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep !!

Snoooooooooooooze !!

F rolled over to drop a glance on her cell. 8:05 AM. Unwillingly, she picked up her toothbrush from the cup, and mumbled as she moved towards bathroom “Damn it!! I hate early morn snoozes.”

Labels: I, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts

The Hacker Manifesto

by
+++The Mentor+++
Written January 8, 1986

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker

Damn kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a hacker, enter my world...

Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...

Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike. Arrested after Bank Tampering"...

Labels: I, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts

DISCLAIMER: Few facts have been molded, curbed, exaggerated to spice up the story.

Scene 1: Embezzlement

“Holy Fuck” said I, jumping up from a cosy sofa of lounge at ITC Sonar Bangla when S called me up saying that we were conned and the passes we bought for the New Year bash were fake. My next reaction was – “Ha-ha!! Very funny, smart ass. Tell me where to come. In fact, please come and escort us. Over and out!!” I turned towards other four who were busy bitching about the vile traffic jams of “city of joy” and staring two hot chicks by the corridor. I reiterated S’ words and burst out laughing. But before our smiles faded, we saw all the dorks, including S coming towards us. Well, Atlas did shrug and we were conned.

The quest for dinner began.

Scene 2: The cracks of imperfect focus group

In P’s room six-seven ‘non-sceptic-fairly-optimistic-hardball-attitude’ studs sat together exploring the options which included a trip on a barge, a bar-b-que, hotel Radisson’s party and of course coveted “ITC Sonar Bangla” party. Hasty scheduling and lack of prior planning directed first two options off-stage. For remaining two, choice was not that hard to make. Monetary optimizations, ease of conveyance, brand name and most of all a miraculous discount made it quite an obvious unanimous select.

ITC it is.

Scene 3: Hysteria

No other word can describe what we witnessed at Park Street.

Post dinner, we guys turned on the damage recovery mode and decided to conclude the mishap by having a decent cup of coffee @ Park Street Barista. Little did we know that the hypothesis “’Just when you think that life can not suck anymore, a bird shits on you.’ was true.

Hooligans were erupting at Park Street. A wheelie, ugly naked dance on the middle of the street, whacky fights, drunken snotty bastards; they were all available, absolutely free of cost. But the deranged of the evening award goes to bunch of reckless boys which were coming out of a speeding car and pilling beer all over. And guess who the greatest cheerleaders were?? No points for the answer, “The ever alert Kolkata Police”.

Even guy were feeling pretty vulnerable, I couldn’t possibly fathom about the fairer sex. So amidst all the mayhem we decided to hide out in less affordable but better guarded Hotel Park.

Scene 4: The Park Scenario

Like refugees of park street frenzy, we were bestowed shelter in Hotel Park. Hell, it was crowded. Understandably we didn’t expect to get entry at any pub, disc or bar, but all we asked for was a little attitude from the coffee shop. Alas!! Lady luck was pissed with us and not just coffee shop but even the lounge was mobbed.

Drunken rabbles were everywhere, from sofa to floor, from dance floor to stairs. But the scene was in male restroom. A guy sunk in his own puke was lying unconscious. Man unleashes the beast within on special occasions, location no bar. Finally authorities called up an ambulance and the last I remember was when I saw them lifting him like a sack and taking him away.

Anyways petrified of the whole incidence and considering the safety of girls, we headed back to joka-land only to get mocked and deprecated by fellas.

Scene 5: The diamond in the coal mine

Amongst all this crazy set of events, there was a time when clock strike 12. All of us losers, how much ever I don’t want to use this word but can’t find a better fit, were sitting in Balwant ka Dhaba licking our fingers. Not that food was that delicious, but anything after such an atrocious night had to be sweet. Nevertheless, lassi was some serious gourmet shit and was designated toast for the evening. It was the most festive moment of one of the most unforgettable night of my life.

We had seen enough for the day, so thought we, before heading for a coffee.

Scene 6: Verdict

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It may not be the way I conceptualized. But I did spend my new year with my friends; with people who mattered. Few of them were missing, but then...

This time it was different from the usual jazz. Two five stars, one dhaba, one coffee shop and countless hooligans; we did all. Its not about blame game or fault analysis, but forgetting about the sunk cost. The lassi toast, the awesome group hug, I shall never forget this New Year. :)

Labels: Bitching, I, Pet Pooja, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts, WTF

Such untainted was Amol Gupta’s effort with the script that I was overwhelmed. Simplicity and sincerity were the key ingredients of Aamir Khan’s directorial debut “Tare Zameen Par”. And during the first 15 minutes of the movie I could draw parallels with my life of all the mundane commotions of our naïve protagonist Ishaan, which by the way gave a splendid performance.

The innate similitudes took me back in time when I use to toss gazillion innovative bahanas to bunk school just for one day, pull some crazy prank, add layers of mud over me by the time I am back from school, virtually box with kids next door, run for a kite, get pampered by mom when dad was designated villain, indulge in rowdy peer comparisons, lie precariously, unleash those captive imaginations in most dilapidated manner, fancy a virtual friend, get over protective about my baby sis, get thrown out from class for every single possible reason, get notes of excellence and not-so-excellence and even worse, of disapprobation.

I did it all and I relived those moments when Ishaan did it. Its not about whether it was appropriate or not or my guilt conscious was taking command or something; it just rejuvenated those careless, or should I say apathetic days of my life. It was about the time when I used to be wacky and reckless. Thinking of consequences was not my obligation; ma-pa did that for me. All I was supposed to do was to do, do whatever I please, however I please.

The childhood that’s eroding with every passing day, was gifted back to me in those 3 hours. The genuineness of the movie was because director himself was living each of the moment with Ishaan. There is a scene, where Ishaan was getting late for school and while running for the bus, he saw a mud-hole. He jumped and splashed it all over. Now to think of it, you need to be a kid. You and I are probably too self-conscious to do something like this now, even to think of it. The scene of flipbook exposed the vulnerability of a 9 year old. A thing like this requires getting into the script, feeling the mood of the movie and most importantly pouring your heart out. Aamir did that.

The second half of the movie was even better. It strikes a chord, leaves a itch somewhere. Parents do make their child live their dream, many a times forcefully. Imaginations are curbed as we grow older. Instincts are kept at bay and materialistic results become the benchmark of life. Dreamers, by default, are labelled as losers.

This movie dares to ask why!! And such innocent, yet mature is the approach that it makes you think. It compels introspection. The impact travels from heart to brain, from emotions to thoughts.

It raises even bigger issues like why in a country like India with such a diverse population; innovation is still an occasional hunch. Why do people here make run of a mill choice and not think beyond the horizon? Why kids like Ishaan have to struggle because they dare to be Howard Roark? The flaw is inherent in us and we all are responsible shelling million kids like Ishaan.

So after all this, do I think I’ll let my kid be so independent that it exempts me from his/her every action? The answer is NO. But then that’s the discussion of some other day. This day and this post is about the movie “Taare Zameen Par”. This movie made its way in coveted “Anshul’s Fav Movie” list and I’ll ask all the readers of this blog to do yourself a favour. You owe it to Ishaan in you.

p.s. I don’t feel like discussing the acting, animation and all those things. Trust me, they were all secondary. But before I forget to mention, lyrics and music were phenomenal.

Labels: From the other side of the Lens, I, Lord's review, Memoirs, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts, WTF

a blog dedicated to these awesome 3 months at joka. No text, just visuals.
~ensoi








~earlydays@joka

Labels: I, Joka Land, Memoirs, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

Few days back I was thinking, which animal I share most traits with. Weird indeed, but last few days have not been the most relaxed ones as well, so expected out of an exhausted mind. Unfortunately I was at my self-deprecation best. The answer came out as “PIG” which is gross, but a surprising fit. The common characteristics include

Filth: Those who know me but at all, knows how dirty I am and more than that how comfortable I am being that way. Somehow it’s true for most of the guys, but I take this acceptance to preference. Taking bath is waste of time, water, soap and all those things. A jeans is preferred over trousers because one can wear it for a month without even bothering to wash it. Why bother cleaning room, when one anyways walks in it with slippers on. These thoughts are now philosophy of life. And pigs!! Do I even need to start on this?

Omnivorous: A lot of people claim to eat everything, but with few exceptions. But genuine connoisseurs of food are pigs and yours truly. Eat whatever is there without cribs and whines. Preferences of course are there but certainly no constraints. Everything from boiled vegetables to beef is welcome, provided cooked good. Unable to finish something on dinner table, please do not waste it and pass it on. As my roomies put it my appetite is like a mini black hole, both in terms of acceptance and amount.

Snugly: Ever seen a bunch of piglets sleeping?? A dozen of them will bunch together and sleep cosily over each other. Going back in time, when we just moved to CTM¹ four years back and we all gathered in Sas’ room for some movie, the sight had uncanny resemblance. It was one teeny-weeny bed and we were at least 8 on it. And man it was fun to watch movie like that. No PVR, no I-Nox gave me that much of fun.

Now this is not a tag, but everyone is tagged:D

P.S. Plz don’t hate me for this. Facts are exaggerated to certain extent to create interest in readers:D

1 CTM : C TOP MID, my wing at iit. Call me braggart, but this is where Gods live.

Labels: Bitching, I, Laff Riot

sorry guys for not being regular on blog. was busy shopping. :D and now i m the gadget boy of the town. bought a new lappy vaio c25 (upgraded RAM) and a new cell MOTOROKR. yeah baby !! wow is my word.

vaio c25

its espresso black and chocolate brown in colour.
intel core 2 duo 1.66Ghz
2 GB ddr2 RAM (667 MHz)
nVIDIA GeForce GO 7400 GPU
80 GB SATA hard disk (5400 RPM)
Windows Vista Home Premium

i'm in love wid this black beauty. :). for more details chk this link.

MOTOROKR

awesome awesome fone.

Premium entertainment PDA at only 14.5 millimeters thick
2-megapixel CMOS camera with 8x digital zoom to capture the moment
CIF and QVGA video capture for up to five hours
Full screen video playback
Integrated MP3 player with dedicated music keys and built-in FM radio
PDA featuring Business Card Reader, POP3 e-mail¹, document viewer to view Microsoft Word, Excel, etc., PIM
Connectivity includes integrated stereo Bluetooth® wireless technology³, HTML browser, hi-speed USB 2.0 EMU, 3.5 millimeter stereo jack
Removable memory card slot,1GB full SD card ; 8MB dynamic user memory4
Extended 1000mAh battery life for long usability
Brilliant 2.4-inch 240 x 320, 262K colors TFT external display with the latest touch screen technology.

for more details. check this link.

p.s. i luv flaunting :D

Labels: I, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

10 facts/habits about me. saw this on priya's blog :) trust me its not that easy to write it down.

1 Fact: I don’t drink alcohol, tea. Drink coffee, cold-drink for company. Love to drink lassi, nimbu-paani.

2 Habit: I play with my ears while sleeping.

3 Fact: I can move little finger of my feet. *without any external help, of course*

4 Habit: I’m a compulsive foodie.

5 Fact: I’m scared of kids.

6 Habit: While reading, thinking or writing about something, I lie down and move my legs vigorously.

7 Fact: After my second year, I saw more than 125 different movies in less than a month. * wakawwww!!*

8 Habit: I dont tie my shoe laces, except for when i am playing

9 Fact: I am a champ procastinator. Deadlines are just dates for me.

10 Habit: I need to take some part of my leg out of blanket while sleeping, even if its biting cold.

i dont know why i am thrilled, but i am. btw everyone is tagged :)

Labels: I, Tags, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

1.Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?

on my left arm, just below my shoulder. i was trying to skid my cycle and for smartass the i am, i pressed front brakes. then “jack and jill” happened and i landed up in barbed fencing. hence the souvenier.

2. What is on the walls in your room?

seriously nothing, as my land lord is a big pain in, u know where. but in my room, i used to have one huge poster of kurt cobain and sonali bendre.

3. What does your phone look like?

It’s a gone case. was silver, but now its paint is coming out from all the places.

4. What music do you listen to?

Heavy metal and ghazals/classical. *i know i am weird*

5. What is your current desktop picture?

its a foto from our kerala trip..awesome.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

want to pee. trying to see how long can i hold it and ryt now cant think of anything else. been 18.5 hrs.*i told ya, i’m weird*

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

ofcourse. what is the problem. they anyways do the same thing ;)

8. What time were you born?

dunno and dun care

9. Are your parents still together?

pretty much, even after all those fights :D

10. What are you listening to?

some movie sound in the background. *sale ghode, awaaz kam kar*

11. What's something people may not know about you?

that i dont booze. *i know its hard to believe, but i dont*

12. The last person to make you cry?

i cant recall, seriously.

13. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?

not too fond of them, but i use el-paso.

14. What kind of hair/eye color do you like on the opposite sex?

eyes does not matter much. i like long black hair, and tall girls.

15. Do you like pain killers?

never had one in my life. *another thing that ppl may not know about me* :P

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Depends, cant ask a random girl out.

17. Favourite pizza topping?

Loads of capsicum/jalapenos or pineapple.

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

i want subway veggie delight and i want it now. *alas !! not a single soul moved by my gesture*

19. Who was the last person you made mad?

S..last evening itself. poor girl. she thinks i am a casanova. *compliment taken*

20. Is anyone in love with you?

even i want to know. tell me girls, for i wud never know if you wont tell.

Labels: I, Tags

Ok I confess!! I am bad with kids. Bad as in real bad. Most of them would plainly refuse to come to me and if sometimes someone comes to me by mistake, the interaction is sure to end up in a saline free flow. For the clarification, by kids I mean teeny-weeny kiddo who needs to be baby talked and who can’t drink milk from glass (ok as it is a confession, I accept, for kids less than 4 years I’m devil personified). Few days back I was at my uncle’s place for 3 days and my kid cousin refused to talk to me. Poor guy started crying every time I tried to hold him. And I sat contemplating and I came up with possible reasons (I know this blog is turning out to be extremely stupid, but whatever!! My kid bro is afraid of me and didn’t talk to me at all. I’m sad)

1) My size/voice: With my 185cm+ and 90kgs+ built I’m like Gulliver for the Lilliputian kids. And for the lazy bastard I am I refuse to shave daily (ok it’s a weekly thing for me) and I get scarier everyday. And my loud voice does the remaining damage to my reputation. I’m like a living monster. I’m like one of those fantasy devils which moms use to scare kids. But then this part is not under my control. Genetic faults, I would say.

2) Cant baby-talk: I claim to be very creative and a blabber-mouth. But when it comes to kids, I can’t talk for more than a second. I’ve realized that my monologue skills are directly proportional to size of the person.

3) Scared of kids: As embarrassed I am to accept it, it is a fact. I’m extremely scared of them especially when they curl in my arms. I think they are fragile and I’ll end up doing some harm. And even more than that, I can’t see a kid crying. My aunt kept on saying, let him cry for a minute but take him out and he will become ok. But no thank-you!! I’m scared of crying babies.

I guess I have to wait for another 3 years before I could properly talk to my bro. But only saving grace is my kid sis who found her new best friend in me. Yaaayyy!! We had so much fun together. And my entire family was, OMG!! A kid with bi2. It’s worth a foto. :D

p.s. happy first birthday Yash!! Love you bro. :)

Labels: I, Sentiments, Wandering Thoughts, WTF

19^th may 2k7 was one of the most memorable day of my life. It was the class reunion of St Paul’s 2k1 batch. To be honest, it was more fun than the farewell. I met lots of junta after 8-10 years. The excitement was inevitable, but the degree of proximity was surprising yet extremely comforting.

The whole planning started about a month ago. The core organizers were Ritesh (mama), Shweta, Suchit (t2), Pritesh, Rohit, Saurabh (papa) and me (yours very own Lord Anshul). As most of them were into business and all in Ujjain itself, we thought it would be much better to settle the event at our very own hometown. After a lot of thought 19^th may was decided as the D-day.

I reached Ujjain on 14^th, and then started series of meetings. All the old class fotos were dug out, the list was formulated and the exhausting process of reviving contacts was started. Everyone got busy, and cell became more important than ever. At the same time other plans were to be decided. All of us succumbed to the conjuring whims of “lady nostalgia”.

For the first time something on such a large scale was happening, and me and mama were in no mood to screw it up. Few other futile attempts of such sort ended up in a disaster. Everyone was foned and mama and I made sure that we would personally try and meet as many of them as possible. Rohit was given responsibility to contact and meet people in Indore. And others in Bombay, Delhi, Pune and Bangalore were called up.

T2 was responsible for hotel booking. With all his contacts in Ujjain, no one else was more suitable. And that guy did a brilliant work too. He got us “Shanti Palace”, which when we contacted was not free that day. Our hero spent a “high-spirit” evening with the GM of the hotel and we got a booking: D. We asked him to make sure that it is banquet hall and he said us we will get whatever we want. Brilliant!!

Food was decided by Pritesh and Papa. The program was scheduled from 5 to 10 and this made 2 courses a must. And being in Ujjain I had to settle for veg onlyL. No regrets!! Culinary options were secondary for me that day.

Mama and I then started looking for a decent memento. The whole idea was to have an event so grand that all “oh-I-am-so-busy” souls should feel that they have missed something significant and if something of this sort happens after another 5 years than we could expect almost 100% attendance. The memento was decided and the order was placed for 30 pieces. (Thanks a ton Mohammad for all the help).

A lot of other plans were fashioned and defashioned. We were planning to call teachers but finally decided against it and thought let this be strictly our batch’ event. Then we planned to give few informal awards (“the geek”, “most notorious”, “laugh riot”), but then got scared of puny disputes that might arise. Then we planned to arrange some skit or some little program, but lack of time held us back. We finally settled for a brief introduction of what happened in life after leaving school and little free-lance dancing:P

Digicams, handycams and lappys were arranged. Hotel guy was asked to arrange for music system and amplifiers. So far so good. Then again life has never been so kind on us.

Till 19^th morning everything was going so peacefully that it just didn’t make sense and I was waiting for some screw up. And it came from memento guy. He said that there was some problem with the print of memento and he has to re-do entire thing. I almost erupted “Mr. Mehta!! I am about to sign your death warrant. I want everything ready by 5 sharp, or I’ll hang you by your neck” and slammed the fone. Still the condition was under control.

Anyways we consolidated entire stuff and reached the hotel by 4:45. Abhinav and I reached there to ensure the arrangements. But surprise surprise!!. Everything could not have rolled so smoothly. Those idiots were confused and thought the entire event was supposed to start at 7 and in lawn. I could feel mercury rising in my veins. I barked at them to finish the entire thing by 5:30. I called up t2 by that time. “Seth” t2 was fuming and almost fought with the manager. But it was so late to do anything that we had to settle with whatever was being given to us.

Junta started to come by 5:30 and but only in ones and twos. I was like lol!! No one here understands the meaning of punctuality:P Major chunk came around 7. I am usually hyper for no reason, but that time I was visibly hysterical. And by 7:30 most of them were there, thought few ditched at last moment and didn’t show up. We anyways realized that weather became super sexy and lawn was very soothing.

We than started a mini intro round where everyone told what they have been up to after leaving school. And I realize I guess my class had one of the most diverse set of students. Only thing missing was probably an IAS and someone in police. We had everything else. Engineers, Doctors, Politicians, Lawyers, Artists and everything (it includes a guy with criminal record as well) :P

Then next 3 hours were the best time of my life. We all laughed, shouted, gossiped and danced. It never felt so good. Anecdotes were floating in the air and I can’t recall a teacher who was not mocked. Few got married and few engaged, and we were listening to their love stories. Time flew faster than ever. Me and J hugged and consolidated when we heard that P got married: D. Then came time for a group foto. It was more beautiful than any other foto I have ever seen.

We all parted with a promise to do the same again in another 3 years. But that time on even magnificent scale and with even more junta.

While coming back, I collected my memento, dropped R at her home and turned back to home. I ran in and called pa, ma and dids and told them everything. Phew!! Finally after 5 hours my lips were released from the continuous stretch and I crashed into bed.

Labels: I, Memoirs, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

Smoked a cigarette? : Actively nah!! Passively oh yeah baby!! I’m a chain smoker.

Crashed a friend's car? : Friend’s no. but I have my uncles’: D

Stolen a car? : was tempted to when I saw that amazing Porche at Leela palace, but never did.

Been in love? : Yup!!

Been dumped? : Yup :(

Shoplifted? : Pro at that!! Just that we at kgp call it “jhapna”

Been in a fist fight? : With my size, people actually never dare to. But I still drag them into it.

Snuck out of your parent's house? : Nah, though I want to. But my parents are too liberal to let me have this fun.

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : Not exactly.

Been arrested? : No, but I want to.

Gone on a blind date? : Yup!! :D. Trust me its fun.

Skipped school? : Of course I have. Count college in, and I am a self-proclaimed god.

Been on a plane? : Duh!!

Seen someone die? : Yeah. Many times.

Been to Canada? : Eh..No!!

Purposely set a part of yourself on fire? : Yup. I can do weird stuff, if dared.

Been jet-skiing? : I soooooooo want to.

Met someone in person from the Internet? : A lot of them. Orkut rules.

Taken pain killers? : Once. I loathe medicine. Prefer diet control and natural stuff.

Flown a kite? : You’re talking to a pro.

Built a sand castle? : Not really. I’m more of a mountain than a beach person.

Gone puddle jumping? : I’m a filthy pig. Just love all this shit.

Cheated while playing a game? : Duh!!

Been lonely? : Rarely. But yeah, I have.

Fallen asleep at work or school/college? : I’m back-bencher’s pride.

Used a fake ID? : Yup. As a rule never play pranks from real id.

Felt an earthquake? : Yup. Those Bhuj earthquake tremors were felt even till Ujjain. I remember I was sitting in my JEE coaching classes.

Touched a snake? : Yeah Baby!!

Slept beneath the stars? : Millions of times. I love sleeping with my grandparents on terrace. I still love it. I miss those “odomos” nights and my endless discussion with my grandpa.

Been robbed? : Obviously when you “jhapofy” something from someone, someone else will “jhapofy” something from you. Law of averages.

Been misunderstood? : Usually not. But …

Won a contest? : Yeah, Lots of them.

Run a red light/stop sign? : He He. I’m not a responsible citizen and I’m crazy about my youth.

Been suspended from school? : Nope. That’s one tag missing in my mis-adventures. I nevertheless was most frequent “get-outer” of the class.

Been in a car accident? : Yup. Banged my uncle’s car in footpath. I was a kid then.

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night? : No. But that is one challenge I m willing to take. I dare myself.

Walked the streets drunk? : No. I’m one goodie goodie boy. Don’t drink. But I’m forever high; higher than my drunken friends.

Had déjàvu? : NO :(

Danced in the moonlight? : Of course I have. I’m one shameless pathetic dancer.

Witnessed a crime? : Yup.

Been obsessed with post-it notes? : Nope. If something is important I wont forget it. And if I forgot something, its not important.

Squished barefoot through the mud? : Yup. My mom used to drag me for these barefoot walk on grass before sunrise :(

Been lost? : Nope. But ask my mom and she would say yes. Technicality of that incident is complicated and my family and me are still not able to reach a rational consensus.

Been on the opposite side of the country? : Not exactly.

Swum in the ocean? : Yup. Got a great lecture from dad after that though.

Cried yourself to sleep? : Nah.

Played cops and robbers? : Yeah.

Recently coloured with crayons? : Nope.

Sung karaoke? : Yes I have. And KJ Subz thinks I am really good. I’m shocked too: D

Paid for a meal with only coins? : Yeah. Lol…a must have experience.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : Of course. I’m human.

Made prank phone calls? : Oh I’m a champ. Have made even international calls to play my famous credit card prank.

Caught a snow flake on your tongue? : Yup.

Written a letter to Santa Claus? : No.

Blown bubbles? : Who hasn’t?

Bonfire on the beach? : Yeah Baby.

Cheated on a test? : Yeah. Thanks M.

Gone skinny-dipping in a pool? : How skinny are we talking about here ??

and ofcourse everyone is tagged. :)

Labels: I, Tags, Wandering Thoughts

back to bongland, with few changes this time..

not kharagpur, but kolkata
not iit, but iim

yaay..i'm estatic, i'm delirious with joy, i'm jumping up and down, and i'm certainly cocky these days..cheers !!

p.s. assuming junta is going to congratulate me, thnx

Labels: I, Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

Sakshi didn’t tag me for this: D, but I thought of roping myself in it, forcefully: P. Summers are here and like most people, I’m nostalgic too. Now that I’m working, I miss those school days summer vacations, those tension-free strolls with friends, those cricket and badminton sessions. Summers were more fun as a kid.

Grandma’s kitchen: I distinctly remember, I used to go to nani-dadi's place for a month or so. I was the first kid on either side of the family so I was the most pampered one too. I was crazy about "nariyal barfi", I still am. My nani use to make those awesome nariyal barfis for me, and also a big packet was packed for me when I was about to leave. Ohh that thing was heaven. My nani is an amazing cook and it’s amazing what she can do without onion-garlic-ginger. My uncles were quite younger to my mom so no kids there. My sister and I were the rulers. Our wish was law. I miss those late night terrace sessions with my nanaji. We use to talk about everything from various constellations to various mythological stories, from world politics to Ghalib's shayari, from Sanskrit sholkas to Urdu lessons, from my studies to my friends. We use to sleep on terrace. I miss those "odomos" nights and early morning wake up calls.
From there I use to go to dadi's place. It was a joint family there, so already bunch of kids waiting for me and my sis. And then hell unleashed. Mumma and chachis use to bang there head on wall. I miss watermelon time (my dadaji use to call it "bakra" lol: D). I miss that chaats/paani puri of Aligarh and those amazing and yet cheap pastries of "ram bharose bakery". I miss that wall climbing sessions. I miss those cricket sessions with super bouncy rubber balls. I miss those math sessions with my cousin (I m a good teacher!!).
Coming back to Ujjain used to be almost a nightmare.

Sports: now I’m a pulp of fat, but as a kid I use to be pretty athletic. Fastest bowler around and one of the better fielders. Those days morning was booked exclusively for cricket. 6 o'clock in the morning and I’m cycling like a blaze to the ground, sometimes to avenge yesterday's humiliating lose, sometimes with a determination to repeat that classic yorker of last game. “Aftis” were reserved for TT sometimes or sometimes watching WWE with friends or playing cards with mom. Evening was for badminton. But in badminton it was rather better case for me. I was a champ. And I was usually hailed as one as well. I used to walk court with utter dominance and grace. And at 7 in the evening it was time for swimming. I had family pass, but alas Ujjain is not a town where u can see girls in family time. Nevertheless, swimming still is my favorite form of workout. Man!! I’m one lazy fat boy now.

Ice-creams/popsicles: I remember them for very different reasons from what most people do. As a kid I had severe tonsillitis. I was not allowed cold water of fridge, let alone ice-creams and popsicles. But I was a very good kid. Mumma says that I never made a fuss about it, will refuse politely even if someone offers me one. I was not allowed anything that was cold. But what!! I make up for it now. :D

Discovery channel: as a kid I was crazy about it, use to watch everything. (Only exceptions were news, cartoon network and matches.) No matter if it was biological/genetic shit or wildlife adventures or some travel guides. I'll watch it religiously. Right from my childhood; I have that knack to know everything. Unlike some people who want to be king of one thing, I am always inclined towards a basic knowledge of everything. I’m scared of a thought that I might end up in a bunch of people where I have no idea what they are talking about and I’m just staring their faces. That fear is still in me, and may be its getting stronger everyday. So whenever I talk to someone and I come across something new, first thing I’ll do after that is to hit “wikipedia”.

Maths: There is something between my family and maths. At least finding maths interesting and equally amusing, is a genetic disorder in me. My mumma always make sure, that during summer vacations, I do some maths. She will get next year’s maths book and make sure; I finish it well before next session even starts. My papa has always been my maths teacher. And I never realized when this interest turned into love. Condition became so bad that while I was about to get in 9^th, I was pretty competent with 10^th-11^th maths, and much better than kids in those class.

Maths still is my first academic love. And as GB Shaw said “First love is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity.” Come on, call me geek!!

Food: Summer is not the best time of the year for foodies, but there was a lot to drink. And two of my favorite fruits use to stack up in fridge. Watermelon and Mango are my love. I distinctly remember, papa used to get fresh mangos daily on his way back home from his morning walk. And then there was mango shake. That was a must have every evening. But I live because of my love for “lassi” and “shikanji”. People drink bed-tea, but I used to drink “bed-lassi”.

I still have my share of fun. Still like sitting on terrace in the night in cold summer breeze. Summers are all about minimal clothing, multiple-shower-sessions, crew-cut hairdos, ice-creams and cold drinks, midnight longdrives, hot babes in shorts and skirts and sports season finals. But vacations are not the same anymore; life is not the same anymore.

Labels: I, Memoirs, Tags